Curing the Bieber Fever

So, celebrities can make you sick now, for publicity.

I recently had fever. I panicked. Not because I was sick. Because, I didn’t know if it was Bieber-fever. I hear that thing is contagious. And, no! I won’t spell ‘fever’ with a ‘b’ in it, bitches.

After I recovered, the first thing I decide to do was, understand and, if possible, immunize myself against this logic-forsaken ailment.

I came across the following symptoms of Bieber-fever:
1. You stare at that hooker-offspring, Justin Bieber’s pictures & videos emptily, trying to find a reason to like him until you fail miserably and tag your mindless adulation, “love”.

2. You get overly emotional upon hearing the very ‘Bieber’ name & scream, “Justaaaan *sob, sob* OMG! Justaaannn!” Then, defend your thoughtless behavior asking questions like, “Why are you so jealous of Justin Bieber? His voice is like angels singing from heaven.”

3. You get wet, unforeseeably & have a tremendous urge to hear his auto-tuned voice whining, “Baby, baby, baby, ooooh”, endlessly.

4. You get absolute orgasmic pleasure from hearing vague songs like, ‘Somebody to Love’ because such songs make no judgments & makes ugly girls go, “Maybe he IS talking about me!” Because if he said, “I Need Your Love”, then ugly girls immediately know, that the song is not for them.

How to Immunize Yourself of Bieber Fever

Britney Spears.

Justin Bieber is like Britney Spears at her prime. Only lacking everything she seduced the world so hard with. She was the benchmark for all pop-fads - with good reason. Here's why "Britney-fever" is more tolerable than Bieber-fever:
- She had provocative songs.
- A smoking hot body.
- Her voice set a wildfire in the hearts (read loins) of ALL GUYS when she sang, "I'm a slave for you..." She was the first woman ever to make me feel like a white man.

But Justin Bieber is a dumbed down version of Britney (apparently, even she could be dumbed down), minus the smoking hot body, voice & appealing songs.
Here’s a pictorial song comparison of 5 song titles to prove Britney can help you get over Bieber-fever (but, only titles ‘cause, I never paid attention to what Britney was saying. She's a woman. Get it? Lol).

1. Britney Spears – Baby One More Time , Justin Bieber – One Time


2. Britney Spears – Drive Me Crazy , Justin Bieber – Down to Earth


3. Britney Spears – Oops! I Did it Again , Justin Bieber – Overboard

4. Britney Spears – Girl in The Mirror , Justin Bieber – That Should be Me


And, finally…

5. Britney Spears – I’m a Slave For You , Justin Bieber – Pick Me